Every once in a while, it’s important to look back on your life and ask a simple, yet profound question: What message could I send to my 10-year-old self to prevent the most painful, annoying, or embarrassing situations I’ve encountered along my path?

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying this would necessarily be a good thing. Some of the biggest bullshit I’ve experienced in my life was tied to my most crucial learnings. Still, you wouldn’t want that cute, innocent little boy inside me to stop dreaming, right? So, let me at least indulge in the idea that it all could have been so much easier.

Without further ado, here are 13 somewhat dirty pearls of wisdom that I’d happily share with my younger self—knowing full well that doing so might cause irreparable damage to the timeline and potentially even lead to the downfall of mankind.

#01 Everybody’s faking it. Everybody’s in pain. And everybody’s hiding skeletons in their closets.
#02 Everybody wears a mask. Most wear a multi-layered one.
#03 Almost everybody tries to make you believe they don’t wear a mask.
#04 Everybody has an agenda. If they say they don’t, that’s part of their agenda.
#05 Most people follow an agenda they haven’t had much of a say in creating.
#06 There’s a difference between what you could expect and what you should expect from a person.
#07 Few will tell you what that difference is in their case—and even fewer truly know.
#08 Few people trust themselves. Yet many lie to themselves about this.
#09 Living a life that makes it unnecessary to trust yourself is not the same as trusting yourself.
#10 If you don’t learn to trust others, you’re missing out on more than you’ll ever know.
#11 You’ll only ever be able to trust others if you enable yourself to trust yourself.
#12 Without self-trust, you’re doomed.
#13 Those who trust themselves get most of the fun.

Conclusion: You can’t trust yourself if you sugarcoat reality.

Frankly, as a 10-year-old, I wouldn’t have wanted to read that list.