Years ago, a friend’s boyfriend—someone I had known for a while—made a comment about himself that instantly put me off: “I’m not actually afraid of anything.”
Don’t get me wrong, I liked the guy. And I believe he genuinely thought he was telling the truth.
But I had seen otherwise. His body language, the way he spoke, the opinions he shared about life and the decisions he had made—all of it reeked of self-protection and defensiveness. He sold an image of confidence to others. But he was lying to himself—big time.
The truth is, everyone has fears and insecurities—at least in certain situations or aspects of life. In fact, this applies even to those of us who’ve done a lot of personal growth work and helped others do the same. We all have blind spots. And, of course, it’s one thing to know what needs to be done. It’s another to always follow through. We all have skeletons—some tucked away in the closet, others constantly breathing down our necks—whether we realize it or not. What’s more, some of those fears aren’t even ours.
Neuroscience tells us that emotional patterns—especially fear—get passed down from generation to generation. Meaning, many of the things we avoid or feel uneasy about aren’t based on our lived experiences but on the unresolved issues of our ancestors. In other words, we’re still running from saber-tooth tigers, long after they’ve become extinct.
No matter how rich, successful, or outwardly confident you are, those fears from your closet don’t just fade on their own. Time alone doesn’t heal shit. It just makes shit easier to tolerate or ignore. And, more often than not, the same goes for conventional psychotherapy, venting to friends, psychedelics, drowning yourself in work, or numbing out with ice cream and online shopping.
So, what does heal shit?
Life does—in a manner of speaking. If you let it.
Life constantly presents opportunities to change from the inside out—if you’re willing to step outside your comfort zone. There’s more than one way to confront and dissolve outdated insecurities and inhibitions. What’s the right path for you depends on your unique journey. But one thing is certain: the right path is within your reach—because that’s how life works.
So, ask yourself:
👉 What have I avoided in life because of outdated emotional patterns that don’t actually serve me?
👉 What habits have I held onto even though they’ve never benefited me?
👉 What step can I take today to move beyond whatever’s been holding me back—even if I don’t fully understand what that is yet?
Saber-tooth tigers are long gone. Stop running.
