When I meet someone new, I’m curious about two things: what they do in life and—more importantly—what they’d do if they fully trusted themselves. If they ditched the compromises, stopped lying to themselves to justify a status quo they hate, and decided to be fully alive and engaged for good.

Of course, asking those deeper questions upfront wouldn’t exactly make people open up. Who wants to admit, during casual conversation, that their life—or a part of it—is broken in one way or another?

But here’s why I’d ask: I care about knowing people beyond their surface. And let’s be real—most of us are in dire need of a little shadow work.

Want to know some of my own answers? Glad you asked.

When I fully trust myself, I do the things I feel called to—even if I can’t imagine pulling them off. Like writing daily 300- to 500-word articles when I can barely find time to shower. “Ditching compromises” doesn’t mean quitting everything I dislike; it means choosing my battles and rejecting anything unworthy of my time—even if it’s easy and pays the bills.

The biggest lie I stopped telling myself? “It’s just temporary, so there’s nothing I need to do about it right now.”

And deciding to be fully alive means making time for what I’ve always wanted to do—and prioritizing what will make the biggest difference in my life.

Ultimately, all these questions boil down to one: What would committing to life outside your comfort zone look like?

Then again, “deciding to be fully alive for the rest of your life” sounds so much better. And, in my view, it’s the exact same thing.