I remember a conversation I had with a friend about twenty years ago. I don’t recall how it started or what we were mainly talking about, but one moment stuck with me. At some point, she blurted out in surprise, almost in disbelief:
“So, what you’re saying is that I SHOULD take the path of least resistance?”
I remember my response clearly:
“Yes, of course. IF that path actually gets you to where you want to be.”
Then came a long silence. Her expression shifted as if she was replaying moments from her past when she had taken the easy way out—only to pay a much higher price later.
Most people have the wrong idea about what the path of least resistance really means. It’s not about taking the easiest option in the moment, the one that feels the least painful right now. It’s about choosing the path that, all things considered, causes the least amount of pain overall, while still leading to the outcomes that truly matter and allowing for meaningful experiences.
Take a simple example: setting boundaries.
A lot of people struggle with this. To them, avoiding confrontation and sidestepping difficult situations feels like the path of least resistance. But in reality, people who don’t set boundaries rarely get what they want in life. It’s like choosing to wet your pants instead of walking all the way to the restroom. Sure, it might feel warm and cozy for a moment. But soon enough, things cool down. And worse, they start to stink.
So, what is the real path of least resistance when it comes to boundaries? Set them before it gets difficult. Do it early, when they can be functional yet gentle. Do it while you can take a stand naturally and authentically—before defensiveness becomes the only way out.
But of course, in those earlier moments, it’s easy to convince yourself that setting boundaries isn’t necessary… yet.
Let’s face it: It’s rarely the one “Yes” you regret the most that gets you into trouble. More often, it’s the string of smaller “Yeses” that came before—the ones that quietly opened the door and invited trouble in.
