Over the years, I’ve seen countless people—myself included—hold themselves back in more ways than one. Self-sabotage is a widespread phenomenon. It boils down to wasting time on activities that won’t help you achieve what matters most while avoiding those that truly align with your goals and values.
Most of us have “good” excuses for this kind of self-bullshitting. One of the biggest? FOMO (fear of missing out). As a self-sabotage tactic, FOMO means chasing quick fixes over long-term gains—prioritizing fleeting rewards while ignoring what you’ll truly miss out on later if you don’t focus on what matters.
Some argue that “living in the now” matters more than achieving goals. But dig deeper: many who follow this philosophy not only dismiss the future—they actively reject experiences they should embrace, here and now. These aren’t distant possibilities; they’re high likelihoods that could unfold within the next five minutes.
Let me show you with my own life.
I could start my day with a two-hour walk, an hour of meditation, a decadent bowl of low-carb cinnamon pudding, and soul-nourishing “morning pages” that I write to myself. It would feel amazing. But here’s what I actually do: a compact morning routine, a green smoothie, and a sprout salad. Then, I dive straight into the work I believe will give me the strongest sense of advancement, learning, leverage, and purpose. And that feels amazing too.
Why do I do what I do? It’s simple: fear of missing out. After that breakfast, I feel good for hours. The cinnamon pudding wouldn’t hurt me—but it wouldn’t have the same effect, either. Besides, I can always have it as my second meal of the day. Then, by prioritizing work that gives me the most leverage, I prevent urgent distractions from controlling my life.
What gives me leverage? Tasks that create interesting outcomes both short-term and long-term. So, with very rare exceptions, I do whatever gives me the most meaningful sense of progress, learning, and purpose—first thing in the morning.
Of course, this isn’t always easy. When doubt creeps in, I remember the last time I caved to a quick fix—it never made up for what I lost afterward. I also remind myself that the better my mornings are, the easier it is to take a long walk and make time for meditation during the day.
So yes, I’m motivating myself to do what gets me what I want. But you could also say I use FOMO as a tool.
